Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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