"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
