i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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