there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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