If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...