no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
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as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
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I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm