Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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