I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball