I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom