Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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