so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
