Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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