Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is very pro this idea
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize