i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
