Can i not drive my cunt home
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
