No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
