I CAN MOONWALK!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
