she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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