Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
