I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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