I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
