And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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