haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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