they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
