I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
