Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
