Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
