why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
