STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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