problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
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So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
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You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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