i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
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i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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