Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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