how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
