He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
