I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
