That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
