He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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