after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is Oprah even human
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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