I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
