he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We had to coat check the pizza.
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Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
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Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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