did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's shark week go big or go home
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize