Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
