Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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