A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize