I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
