party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
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So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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