my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize