I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
