It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
