Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
When are your genitals available?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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