sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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