I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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