i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
