u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
