all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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