I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
