Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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