I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
