he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize