My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
